Confession of a Wandering Soul

Ariel Lin: Never too late to compromise to yourself

Posted by diopatra on May 6, 2009

ariel lin
Source: Common Health Magazine
Translated by: Felicia @ TKA Subbers

“I got a tumour in my pituitary, God treats me so well!”

It sounds like a joke, but it’s really said by Ariel when she had an interview with a magazine after her brain surgery.

At the beginning of 2009, Ariel found that she had a 2cm-big tumour in her brain through MRI. Luckily, doctor’s sentence finally became a blessing. Ariel went through the ups and downs in a couple of months and deeply felt that when God shuts a door, he opens another.

As the publisher Hao Ming Yi said in his book after he told the public he’s a Buddhist, if you got a real bad luck, it must be something good inside. In the contrary, if you got something amazing, there must be a bomb somewhere.

After the surgery, Ariel’s mother fell ill and fainted at home, then was sent to the hospital urgently and was diagnosed as second stroke in the cerebellum.

However, some time ago when Ariel won as Best Actress in the Golden Bell Award, she didn’t cry. Instead, she is very calm. She said the mission of actors is to show the audience the deeper human nature.

Ariel deserved to win the prize, no matter what is it, the Pretty Subway Girl Contest or the Golden Bell Awards.

In TKA, which helped Ariel gain the award, which is more than just an idol drama, it’s also a sequel in which it was hard to convince the critics. But the critics said Ariel showed a different level of drama, and this series will collapse without her. Privately, Ariel reached her goal and spent years of hard work to buy the first house of her life. She even invited her high school classmates to come to her new home.

However, the bomb behind the treasure had been lighted up.

Last year, Ariel was shooting the series “The Legend of The Condor Heroes” in mainland China. And she didn’t sleep for 6 days and 6 nights. While dressed very little and was shivering due to the low temperature, her tears could not help but to fall down during breaks. Ariel told the media that it’s the way her body takes it out.

Actually, her body has already objected mentally and physically. On the surface, it is caused by the tumour in pituitary, but Ariel annotated that she was beaten down by herself.

Physically, she has difficulty in losing weight for a long time and always looks as if she has baby fats. What’s worst is that her period never comes on time. And mentally, she couldn’t sleep well and always had a nightmare wherein she was often chased down or jumps down from a tall building.

She was scared when she took the surgery for the first time. She even thought that she would be dead on the surgery bed. She was counting every second when the doctors did the anaesthesia. After her surgery was done successfully, she suffered from the side effects.
Before the surgery, the doctor said that the side effect is that she might be emotional, but Ariel is going through her rebel time.

She talked and talked ceaselessly like a teenager. She spoke out the fear and rage for the past 7 years. She said she was dominated too much by others. She said she was a suck kind-hearted person. She could not stop talking for 6 days and 6 nights, even her mom begged her not to talk anymore which resulted to inflammation of her throat.

Be relax, treat herself good

She took this opportunity to untie the ropes around her.

The first rope is the relationship with her mother.

When she was a teenager, she’d never been to Ximending or in a KTV, and never rode on a motorcycle. Her classmates said that her dream is to study in the Journalism Department, that’s why she was reading newspaper all the time.

Although her mom used to take her brother and her to the ZhongZheng Memorial, she hasn’t played nor did the crazy things like other young girls. It seems that she had never been young. She told her mom that she treated her too strict.

On one hand, Ariel complained that her mom is too strict, on the other hand, she also understands her mom.

When she was in high school she finally knew that her father, whom she was told was doing business outside, had actually divorced with her mom when she was 5. Her mom raised her brother and her up by poor salary and credit card loan.

At that time, her mom had a stroke for the first time. One scenario in the ISWAK drama, Ariel crouched at the corner of the hospital and made a phone call tremblingly, and then she couldn’t help but to weep her heart out. That’s what Ariel told the media, acting is kind of stealing things from her own life.

The second rope following her mom’s strict education is the perfectionism in her personality.

Ariel used to show her bag to the media. It’s very clean and in order. Everything is placed where it should be. The furnishings in her house are in order also, so she will know at once when someone moves them a little. But the reason why Ariel makes everything clean is because she cares about how others look at her, not for convenience. She said that now she put all the little things on the desk disorderly and found it’s happy to be being imperfect.

The perfectionism also impacts her daily life. She will go to sleep at 10pm and wakes up at 4:50am to listen to English Radio to strengthen her language skill when she don’t have work. “I am very self-regulated, but I’m not happy about that”.

Ariel has good manners. She always goes back to school and visits her teachers every Teachers’ Day in the past 7 years. She also calls her good friends to greet on their birthdays, no matter where in the world she was or how late it was. That’s what her mom taught her. But nowadays Ariel would like to relax a little and try to feel from others’ perspective. “It will give others pressure when they associate with me if I keep on treating myself and others so severe”.

Never say NO is her third rope.

Although Ariel was not that serious when she got into the entertainment circle, she finally found the happiness and inspiration from acting after she performed with all her heart.

However, she felt something is wrong later on. Because she used to act too devoted to forget the time, but “one day I started to wait for getting off to work early”. She got lost at that time. She could not feel the happiness even if she worked so hard to perform her role.

She became a superwoman who breaks the record time after time. At the beginning, she could work 2 days long, and then 6 days, and then 8 days. “I was oppressed too much by others for so long” Ariel said so.

Now she realized, “I used to ask myself to get 95 points, so I felt depressed even if I got 92 points. I won’t push myself so hard in the future.” She needs moderate life.

Change her mind, change her life

Little does Ariel thinks that her voice is changed when she changed her mind.

Many of her fans know that Ariel expects so much to release her album because she liked singing from childhood and was a soprano of the Glee Club. And many music companies are also willing to help her to release an album.

She always said she was not ready though she used to sing the theme song of her idol series. But the weird thing is that she could not control her voice well in public.
She can hardly break away from the nightmare of out of tone on live. She insisted on practicing since 2004 and changed 4 or 5 teachers.

“I think I’m ready now” Her voice is smoothing unexplainable when she got relax.

So does her work.

The most disputed role she ever had is Huang Rong in The Legend of The Condor Heroes. The media of mainland China sneered that she was the chubbiest Huang Rong before the shooting to indicate that she’s not slim enough. In addition, there has been many classical Huang Rong acted by others. Ariel thought she could act well as long as she worked harder. But now she said “I could also act Huang Yao Shi, or Lao Wan Tong”.

Because the hardest role is being herself. When she understands that she could care nothing about others expectation or distaste, she could be anyone.

It’s the same for emotion. Although Ariel fell in love with the actors in the series all the time and she became the most wanted girl of the boys out of the series, she has no rumours for 7 years unexpectedly. Even if there’s rumour, no one believes it at all.

Actually she fell in love with a boy secretly with all her heart and soul in the past 4 or 5 years, so she refused many other opportunities. Now she unties the rope around her and finds that many people around her cared about her so much.

She did the difficult thing which middle-age people could not do. She made up with her father in the end.
Her father, who was in economic hard time, came back to meet her last year, and he hoped to drive her to work to earn the money for living. On their second appointment, Ariel said “I’m an actress, so I could feel that he is sincere”. So she accepted it in spite of her mom’s opposition. Tears bathed her father’s cheeks immediately.

Now her father is her driver and bodyguard. Every time at the sight of her father marking down her schedule in the notebook, Ariel reminded her father’s handwriting in her student book.

On the day of interview, Ariel even brought her father to the dentist because he couldn’t eat well because of his bad teeth. “At least let him eat his favorite Pineapple bread”. Ariel finally knew that Pineapple bread is his father’s favorite food after all these years. “I used to blame my father that he had never done anything to us. But what we did to him?”

“He is eligible as a father.” Ariel giggled that her father would teach her which kind of man she shouldn’t approach by his own experience. “You have to believe that man will change,” Ariel said firmly.

To sum up after going through all these things, Ariel expects to be the one who is willing to be herself.

Be Yourself

What’s Ariel’s expectation from others?

“I used to hope people think I’m elegant and talented” Ariel smiled again,” Now I wish they could know that I’m a real person who is willing to be myself“

It depends on how you think to balance all these restrictions in the future.

Ariel said,” I will take it easy. It’s hard to judge the right from the wrong just by the surface. I’ll take my time”

She has a deep apperception even though she’s only 26.

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